My last post was about the courage to use words. Since posting that, I've been finding it so difficult to not be silent. How is it that speaking out can so easily silence me? My heart has so much it wants to say but my mouth is frozen. How do we break the silence? When the fear creeps in and takes control, how do you find your voice again?
Sometimes, maybe you just have to start with one word and take it a word at a time, until the chains of silence start to break...
So here is an attempt to break my silence...
of speaking, of remembering, of sleeping, of being, of feeling...
 |
| Shame |
I know the shame isn't mine to carry, but I don't know how to get rid of it. It's a silencing shame and cuts right to the core of my being...
Fragile, small, cut off, discarded... tossed aside after being used.
Super-sensitive and utterly exposed.
I think if each of those words breaks even one link in the chain, then you're getting there!
ReplyDeleteThe fact that you are willing to look at these words and what they mean to you signals that you are ready to face the fears and move forward. Two steps forward, one step back is usually how this works for me. Moving forward in any manner is always better than standing still.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this with us... I could identify with so much of it.
ReplyDeleteThe images are incredibly powerful - I noticed that the "discarded" flower is beautifully perfect. The soul and beauty of the flower is still intact... from flower the comes the seed of new life, or ways of being.
The image of the hissing cat is incredibly descriptive...
Take care,
CG
I love what you said about that flower still being beautifully perfect, Castorgirl - it's so true!
ReplyDeleteThanks ladies :)
ReplyDeleteCastorgirl - I really like that insight! Thanks! :)
Is it okay if I include your blog in my Blog Roll on my blog Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworker?
ReplyDeleteOf course! I would be honoured Patricia! :)
ReplyDeleteYour words and the pictures that go with them are powerful. You say the shame is not yours to carry, but you don't know how to get rid of it. When ever you feel shame, know that it is a lie of the enemy. Jesus loves you, and he clothed you in his righteousness. God bless you on your journey of healing.
ReplyDeletethis is an amazing post....a huge leap to breaking the silence. I love what you said. "Sometimes, maybe you just have to start with one word and take it a word at a time, until the chains of silence start to break..." In your corner.....believing in you....
ReplyDeleteIt is amazing how I can relate to everything in your post. But the one that really got to me was the picture with "Don't touch me". Even after all the years I have been trying to overcome this...touch can send me in a downward spiral. Thank you for the amazing post.
ReplyDeleteHi Patti :) Thanks!
ReplyDeleteThanks Sarah - I appreciate your standing with me and believing in me. :)
It's a powerful image isn't it Interruption? I think touch is one of those things that is so difficult to try and overcome. I'm glad you found my post helpful!
it was a awhile and took a lot of therapy between the time i made a decision to speak out, and when i actually began to publicly speak out. it has been a very gradual process. i think it's because i have to accept what happened to me on so many different levels before i feel strong enough to actually say it out loud.
ReplyDeletei think confronting the words the way you have described is awesome :)
Hi rayann! I think it's very difficult to say things out loud. For me writing is a kind of in between step that is a bit easier than saying it out loud. It does take a long time to be able to come to a place of speaking out, and what you said about having to accept what happened to you on different levels before feeling strong enough to say it, makes a lot of sense. I can relate to that. :)
ReplyDeleteTake care,
PH x